


Our Infinity

by iwritefanfictioninenglishexams



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24662071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwritefanfictioninenglishexams/pseuds/iwritefanfictioninenglishexams
Summary: This is a true story, though i know the tag says otherwise. it is not the best, but thank you for your time





	Our Infinity

So, to begin with I would like to address that this is not a story of pure happiness and lies, because real love is not like that. Real love is not seeing someone as perfection, but seeing their flaws and loving them anyway. This particular story, is full of a lot of pain that is very true, not exaggerated, made up or romanticised to get your attention. To be quite honest there will be warnings on such chapters should you wish to skip. If you make it that far into the story, that is. As of right now this story doesn’t have an ending. Because me and her are rewriting stories and creating new futures as each day passes.  
And yes, you heard me right. I’m sorry to inform you that this is a story that LGBTQ topics will come into a lot. Even just the basis of the relationship. But that is not because I’m trying to diminish heteronormativity or shove ideals about homosexuals down your throat. It’s because the person I fell in love with, is a woman. And it is as simple as that, before you complain remember no one is forcing you to read this, that is your own choosing.  
This story will explore difficulties people face nowadays, and how the behaviour has been normalised. But it also shows how two young girls, overcame those troubles, and how after losing each other they became a part of the others lives, once again.  
When me and my partner first met each other – I will put this honestly and short so if certain language triggers you I suggest you overlook this sentence – we had our fair share, and more of shitty experiences we didn’t deserve. Mine, I will openly discuss but hers, aren’t my stories to tell. Just to support her through.  
So when I first came to terms with my sexuality, I had a particular type, which hasn’t changed. My girlfriend is my exact type – which I find crazy. And I’ll be honest my type was not the person I was dating at the time, though I tend to go a lot more for personality than to looks, I just happened to hit lucky that my current partner is both. But since she is my type I was instantly attracted to her, but shoved off those ideas because I have never really been a supporter of cheating in relationships unless it is to escape your partner. I was only a couple of days into my relationship of the time, but she was in a long term relationship, so neither of us took it upon ourselves to make much of an effort to flirt or to talk to each other until after a few drinks.  
I, personally am not the best when it comes to socialising, especially not when it is not only a large group but a large group of people that I do not know. This meant that I kind of steered clear of talking to her, unless I had to or because she had spoken to me and I did not want to be rude to her, having just met her and wanting to make a good impression, I think a part of me somewhere knew that I would be seeing her again. I never used to believe in the ideas of a soulmate, I thought it was a foolish idea that people came up with to make themselves feel better when they were alone and hoping to find their ‘one true love’. But after meeting Lauren I have never felt like I was getting to know her rather than just meeting her again, which was why I felt such an urge to make a good impression. I was briefly introduced but other than that I stayed silent as we walked. I remember how hard my heart was pounding, the way that my tummy felt as each wave of anxiety was hitting me. Then when the weather took a turn for the worse and it started pouring. The fabric of my dress got cold and wet and clinged to me, which only added to the fact that I was uncomfortable worse, because as any teenage girl, especially one in my situation – I was very horrified by the way my body looked and I felt as if the dress tightening had only made my body shape more obvious.  
I was not happy at the change of weather also because we were heading to the beach. I cannot remember every moment but I remember attempting to have a few small and incredibly awkward conversations, as some form of attempt to at least seem like I was making an effort so they knew I was just nervous and not incredibly rude. We eventually made it down the – what seemed as never-ending – path and made our way past the amusements to the smaller sandy path that led to the beach we were going to. By this point the rain had cleared up a bit – thank god. So I put my blanket down on the floor (my favourite blanket at the time) it was helping to allow me to be comfortable as I sat, even though patches went a darker grey as it got damp.  
The rain kept going, on and off. And I remember worrying about how close the tide was getting, then freaking out when there was a spider on my bag. (I have very bad arachnophobia). I had not at all been prepared for the weather so I was freezing cold but the girls opposite me were wearing clothes that would surely have been a lot colder and for some reason that threatened me. I did not want to come across as weak. The alcohol we started to drink did help me to warm up thankfully. But as soon as I started to get more comfortable, the girl from opposite me was walking towards me. I couldn’t be sure of her name at the time. I just remember thinking that her nirvana shirt was cool. I knew that she was either called Lauren or Amy but I really had not been there long enough for my brain to remember who was who.  
The music we had playing was really loud which made me feel more anxious but I immediately smiled at her, I couldn’t help it. I was terrified but somehow so comfortable around her. She only wanted me to hold her drink while she went to the loo but for me- it was a huge step, because I didn’t know her and I was being helpful, and I didn’t just ignore her. I got my boyfriends attention to ask the names again. It was Lauren who had asked me to hold her drink. She had offered me some but I have never been a fan of beer and that’s what she was drinking, so I just held it and tried to stop my partner from drinking it, but he kept snatching it off me and drinking and I felt really bad about it when I gave her it back and it was almost empty.  
For the sake of this I’m going to call this ex another name. I can only write partner and boyfriend so many times without naming him. In this story I will use the name Elliot to discuss him.  
Elliot was just ignoring me for the most part of the time, which really pissed me off because I was only there for him and to meet his friends so he didn’t have to keep things like that separate. So I spent the majority of my time by the water, I said I was taking photos but really I just liked the way the ocean kept coming towards me. It was being a lot more compassionate than Elliot was, and it was just a body of water not a human body. God I really needed some more friends. He kept coming up to me and kissing me and after a little while I started getting uncomfortable. It felt as though he was in fact showing me off rather than to have been welcoming me into his life further. He’d come up to kiss me and then just leave again, and I was feeling really used.  
A lot of me thought that they were only paranoid thoughts so I just shoved them way down but I really wish I had just noticed the warning signs as they came, it would have saved a lot of heartache 7 months down the line. I left not long after he was getting drunk enough to have made me feel pretty uncomfortable. My dad was on the other beach with his wife and my youngest siblings. I met up with them and then headed towards their car and then back to my dads house.  
I won’t say exactly what it was, not right now anyway. But just after I left they decided to have, what some people would say as some more fun. I disagree and have many reasons but I will get into that later. That’s too much for an introduction to who we are. Elliot built up this pretty shitty version of Lauren and Amy in my head, he was very good at using words and manipulating you without you even noticing, not for months. So when I eventually met up with them again I was not at all happy that he had invited them.  
We were at a local pride at the time. I had made a few friends in the parade, and the weather kept bouncing between ridiculously hot and pouring down. Elliot pretty much ignored me all day and I was getting really angry, and then he invited the girls and I was even angrier. I was worried on the impact they had on him and what they would make him do. I didn’t know at the time that this idea was very, very wrong.  
But we had a pretty good night considering I wasn’t very happy, I danced with the girls a bit. Even found myself drinking beer with Lauren. I was purely trying to impress her, I detest the stuff. Apparently it did the trick. I had to leave early because I was at work the next day, and my mam wouldn’t let me stay any later.  
Other than that I only met her one other time and it was completely random, unexpected and for around 20 seconds. My mam and I had gone into a shop to buy a birthday card, I didn’t remember that Lauren worked there so when I made eye contact with her , I got quite the shock, but I couldn’t help the big smile on my face that came as soon as I clicked who it was. At that point, I was single again but much too shy to do anything about it. I waved at her and started to talk but she was busy with a customer so she had to go back to work. And that was the end of it.  
Or so I had thought.  
The next chapter will be discussing some of the difficulties I have faced. Some however need individual chapters. The next one is focusing mostly on one person in particular and the spiral around him. There will be a lot of triggering subjects mentioned so if you cannot read about minor sexual assault, self-harm, suicide, drug use, abuse and cyber bullying. Then I suggest skipping the next chapter. All you need to know is that there have been a lot of shitty people in my life.  
I must ensure you do not read the next chapter if those issues trigger you. I do not want to cause any of you pain. But here we go


End file.
